Another One Bites the Dust!

Judging by the title you might think that I'm going to write about something really nasty, but I'm not.  Actually, this is my way of congratulating my friend Norazirawati Ismail on her marriage, today.  After being together forever, they're finally tying the knot, and although I'm not there in person, I am there in spirit.  I know more than anyone that they're relationship has been trying at times but kudos to them for being able to hold on.  Zira tells me that I am strong for being able to walk away, but to me, she is the strong one for being able to hold on even when times get hard.

I'm a coward.  The thought of being tied down scares me beyond reason, but I'd also like to offer my congratulations to Eyda if her good news is what I think it is.  Kudos to her too for being able to hold on during the hardest times.  She's a real woman now, having gone through a lot of stages women have to go through to reach maturity and I'm proud of her, and of Zira. 

In life, we will fall in love at least once.  Sometimes, what we think is the greatest love of our lives simply isn't, but these two women have made it work.  I fly around left, right and centre trying to have a life, but what I never say is how much I admire their patience and perseverance.  I couldn't do that.  Not yet.  Before anything else, I need to gather my wits and get into the flow of my life as me.  These ladies didn't lose their identities when they got into relationships as I did and so, they've been able to keep their own lives while keeping their love. 

I can't say what works and what doesn't.  So far, nothing has worked for me, but sure as heaven is out there, I am a commitment phobic.  If I wasn't, I would have never gone out with a man who's 4 years my junior.  I would have gone out with someone who was around my age and ready to commit.  We each take steps at our own time and I can't follow in their footsteps.  I find the thought of motherhood daunting.  Someone told me that it wouldn't be right between me and a pure Malay man because I am who I am, but then, I've never been interested in white men.  I do find the Pacific Islanders here extremely sexy, but the abundance of tattoos puts them out of my league. 

In fact, I did almost start dating a white boy, but he had Catholic inspired tattoos, and we did have a discussion about everything.  We decided that we shouldn't even start to avoid future heartbreak.  Yes, we could just date for fun now, but what if we really truly fell in love?  See? Those are things I think about, but maybe I just think about those things to look for excuses and ways out of getting into anything.  Either way, I'm proud of the friends I have who have made the leap that I couldn't make.  Do you think I'm tough and brave to be living my own life in a foreign country?  The truth is, you're tougher and braver because you have opened your life and decided to share it with another person.  The most difficult thing ever is to get into a partnership with another person, not for a day or a month, but for life.... and the journey continues when you share your life with other little people who will depend on you. 

Congratulations girls! I love you and I'm here for you always.  You have become women while I am still a girl.

Comments

[eyda]

WE LOVE YOU TO GIA....Zira is still busy preparing for her wedding in shah alam and as for me...yap,i'm pregnant..hehe...almost 2 month now....and i'm zira's maid of honour...nasib baik aku xde morning sickness....
We wish you're here coz its much more fun when u are around...Muuuahhh

[Zira]

LOVE U SO MUCH!!!!!
aku terharu baca blog kau ni.. sob..sob..sob..
aku still rasa mcm mimpi je..
i'm someone wife now!! cipin's wife!!!